


Vicky Vale's Exclusive

by truc



Series: Obsession [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Superman (Comics), Superman/Batman (Comics)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-02 13:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11510109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truc/pseuds/truc
Summary: Vicky Vale publishes an exclusive based on a drugged Lex Luthor's proposal. Not everyone thinks it funny (but almost all do).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is story is takes place in between Batman's fan club (about three to six months after) and just before A (Small) Grudge. There is absolutely no need to read either of them to understand this comedy piece

Lex Luthor Proposes to Buy Superman's and Batman's Sex Tape

On July 14th, Lex Luthor has publicly asked Superman to sell him his sex tapes with Batman for a "really high price". He has further mentioned the sex tapes would be so easy to sell, a million dollars was not enough. The business man started elaborating his business plan while promising neither Batman's nor Superman's identity would be revealed to the general public, because Lex Luthor "knew how much their secret identity means to them". Their secret identity would remained their own. Lex Luthor also explained most of the money of the sales would be donated to charity. Selling the sex tapes would be for the good of the humanity, the business man further elaborated.

The public hearing this proposal were overjoyed and requesting to know the selling price of the tapes' rights or the tapes themselves. Superman has refused to comment on the proposals and Batman is unreachable for comments.


	2. The Justice League Reacts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Justice League discuss Vicky Vale's Exclusive.

"So", Green Lantern asks nonchalantly,"Does this mean I win the pot?"

Flash looks confused while Arthur stares at him.

"You know, our betting pot?", Green Lantern pursues.

"What betting pot?", Flash questions, still seated at his chair around the round table.

"Come on Flash! The betting about which villain will have a crush on Batman? I had bet on Luthor. Doesn't the newspaper's article prove I am right?", Hal Jordan continues while leaning on the table. 

Arthur glares at him,"No, the article talks about a Batman and Superman sex tape. Nothing says anything about Lex Luthor having a crush on Batman". 

"Arthur, Arthur... Luthor is willing to buy a Batman and Superman sex tape at a high price, of course he is interested!"

"Hal, you know you need a tangible proof to win the pot. Lex Luthor may have only wanted to humiliate both superheroes."

"Arthur, you are such a sore loser. I mean, you do not want to lose again against me. I'll just ask the others".

At that moment, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman and J'onn J'onzz enter the room. Hal Jordan has the Gotham Gazette spread over the table at the Vicky Vale's Exclusive. Both women glance at the newspaper before looking more thoroughly at Hal. J'onn J'onzz sits down without stopping once.

"So", Hal starts.

"Do you win the pot? I vote for no", Hawkgirl interrupts.

"Diana?", he asks.

"Hum. You have a good argument to make, but Lex Luthor is known to be obsessed with Superman, not Batman. So, I also vote no".

Hal turns to J'onn J'onzz with an expectant gaze. J'onn replies, amused: "Green Lantern, I do not bet nor do I decide the outcome. That is the rule". Hal mutters: "True, since you can read into everyone else's mind. I kind of envy you once in a while, you know.

Flash whispers:"I never heard of that betting pool". 

"Of course not! Batman was a bit your mentor when you were in the Teen Titans. You are friends with Nightwing. You made it clear you did not want to be kept updated on our many 'Batman theories'." Hal responds.

"Is there anyone else who wants to address the elephant in the room?", Athur asks, effectively stopping Hal from continuing the conversation.

"There are no elephants here", Hawkgirl responds.

"It is an expression that means we are all avoiding talking about a subject because it is awkward", Flash gently explains.

"And what is that awkward subject?", Hawkgirl questions, truly intrigued.

"Well, first of all, the Superman and Batman's sex tapes. Second of all, their relationship. Thirdly, why are they absent to this meeting?", Hal says with sarcasm.

"Is there any sex tapes?", Diana asks,"It seems Luthor is asking they make one, not that they have one".

"That was also my impression. Besides, Luthor is a villain. You cannot trust anything he says", Arthur ponders loudly. 

"Do we have any policies against fraternization?", Flash comments while looking nervously around.

Everyone trades looks.

"Well, it was never necessary until now...", comments Hal, "J'onn, you should know, do we have one?"

"I do not know. Batman is normally the one writing the policies since he knows what are the standard ones. You can ask him".

A silence greeted the answer. Yeah, ask Batman whether our Justice League's rules permits him to date Superman. Great idea. 

Flash moves his head horizontally, as if saying :"Don't ask me about it. I will not ask Batman. I am not willing to die, just yet". Diana smiles at the idea (she's crazy enough not to be scared of Batman, Flash thinks). Hal seems to ponder the philosophical implications of the question or whether he should buy sushi or a pizza. Hawkgirl seems more confused about the whole situation. Arthur seems to wish going back to his kingdom where the livelihood of his people is the only thing he needs to worry about, not whether a Superman and Batman's sex tape would change the world's opinion of the Justice League. J'onn J'onzz seems as remove from the situation as normal.

While the silence keeps the room occupied, Superman enters the room and sits down while apologizing for the delay.

"Sorry I missed the beginning of our monthly meeting. At what items are you at, now?"

J'onn J'onzz calmly answers: "We were waiting for you and Batman to proceed".

Superman tilts his head: "Batman may not even come today".

"How do you know that? Is the article true?", Flash blurts before placing both hands in front of his mouth.

Superman looks annoyed: "Didn't you see the news? Joker escaped during the day and he is creating mayhem in downtown Gotham. As for the article, are you talking about Vicky Vale's?"

Flash nods hesitantly and Hal Jordan leans forward, hoping to hear some nasty gossip.

"Lex Luthor loosed some of his anti-superman robots in Metropolis and they were too easy to defeat. When I found Lex, I realized another villain had drugged him to make him careless and reckless. He started blabbing about sex tapes in the middle of the Metropolis Hotel. Given the circumstances, no journalist would have taken the words of a drugged Lex Luthor as the truth."

"Then why did Vicky Vale do it?", Diana asks.

Superman sighs,"Gotham's journalists have less of a standard and, even if Vicky Vale has an higher standard than most in Gotham, I am sure Batman did something to vex her recently. She tends to be really resentful. I will have to ask him later". 

Hal Jordan looked crushed at the banal explanation and Flash, relived. 

"Can we talk of something else than the sex tapes? I've heard enough people speak of that today", Superman gently requests.

"Last question, how did they take that photo of you and Batman? Your shoulders touch", Hal mentions, still eyeing Superman with suspicion.

"It was a Justice League official photo taken many years back. They just cropped everyone else out", Superman explains dejectedly. 

The explanations were reasonable, yet everyone at the table except for J'onn J'onzz and Superman, wanted to ask more questions about the Finest's relationship's status. Everyone knew Superman dated Lois Lane and Batman was in an on-off relationship with Catwoman, nonetheless, they all wondered if there was more to it than that.

"I must comment, Superman, that it is a nice change, the women of the Justice League are not the only one the public is anxious to know about our sexual relationships. I am always in newspapers with a question : Is she involved with this guy she saved last year?", Diana says. 

"Well, yeah, you are. You are still with Trevor, yes?", Hal asks.

"Yes, but they don't know that", Diana responds. 

"Enough!" Superman yells. 

Everyone looks at the normally gentle and polite superhero. He looks as if he has been exposed to Kryptonite for an entire day, which may be true because of his chasing Lex Luthor's robots. He also seems frayed against the edges, worried, guilty and frustrated. The other members look on with astonishment at his banging his fist on the table and denting the table. J'onn looks at him, concerned, and starts the meeting.

The meeting continues without any issues nor problems. Superman's gaze falls on the empty chair beside him more than once. Diana examines Clark's face and hopes to get to speak to him after the meeting. As the meeting finishes, Batman struts in the room, clearly annoyed, mad and frustrated. Clark smiles at him even in the face of the vigilante's evident grumpiness. Hal Jordan opens his mouth to say, in all probability, a tasteless joke. Flash innocently walks on one of his feet. 

"Batman! So you managed to find and defeat Joker!", Superman says very enthusiastically.

"Hum.", the Bat responds absently while taking in everything in the room, including the Vicky Vale's Exclusive on the table and Hal nagging Flash about his carelessness. Jordan seems to feel the glare on him and turns around.

"Batman, are you here to say you are willing to make sex tapes? I'm sure you can find other superheroes than Superman, if he not willing, more than willing to help you make the tapes for 'charity'." 

"Are you volunteering, Jordan?", Batman rudely responds while Superman reddens considerably.

"Are you saying you would if I did?", Green Lantern answers with a crooked smile.

"No, I would not. If you have nothing else to say, I suggest you leave since the meeting is clearly over", Batman says while walking over to J'onn J'onzz to discuss the content of the meeting with someone competent.

Flash whispers in Hal's ear: "Are you crazy? He will surely kill you for that!". "No, he will not. I have a magical ring. I am invincible. Ha ha ha", Hal laughs while moving to the exit. He notices Superman and Diana are discussing something that makes Superman uncomfortable, but not uncomfortable enough to avoid sending Hal a glare. 

Wow. Superman normally reserves his glares for the mad bat. I may have pushed the issue too far today. Well, I will apologize to him later, I was mocking Bat not Superman, Hal thinks as he was exiting the room with Flash, Hawkgirl and Arthur.


	3. Batman's cell phone messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman's cell phone messages on the day of the Vicky Vale's Exclusive.

7:12 a.m.  
Red Hood : Congrats!

Batman : ?

Red Hood: The Gotham Gazette and online.

7:13 a.m.

Oracle: Do you need help deleting the worse online theories?

Batman: It will be fine. There are only rumors.

Oracle: Are you sure? There are a lot of them.

Oracle: Like a whole lot of them.

Oracle: Each minute, there are many more coming online. Are you sure you don't want my help?

Batman: ...Fine. 

Oracle: I'll expect a thank you at the end of this week.

7:15 a.m.

Red Hood : I know you know what I am talking about now. 

Red Hood : You can tell me everything.

 

7:15 a.m. 

Nightwing: Tell me it's not true!

7:22 a.m.

Orphan: ;)

8:02 a.m.

Red Robin: I found another of Lex Luthor's funds under another name in the Caribbeans. To which charity should I transfer it this time?

Batman : Metropolis's reconstruction fund.

 

9:30 a.m.

Agent A: Sir, being upset and embarrassed is no excuse for skipping breakfast. You have been taught better manners than that.

Batman: I'll eat later.

Agent A: Sir, I will stop buying your special coffee next time you do this stunt.

Batman: ...

 

10:01 a.m.

Nightwing: Seriously, do you know how many persons have been asking me whether it's true?

Nightwing: Even the members of the Justice League have been dropping to my place, texting me or calling me!

Nightwing: Do something!

Nightwing: Did anyone talk or text to you about it yet?

Batman: Red Hood, Oracle, Orphan, Agent A and Red Robin.

Nightwing: Besides them?

Batman: No.

Nightwing: That is the problem with being approachable!

Batman: Told you so.

Nightwing: Hey! Next time, I'll try to be as intimidating as you or Superman.

Batman: ?

Nightwing: Well, it seems you're too scary for them and Superman is too nice and perfect. Nobody wants to disappoint him.

10:02 a.m.

Nightwing : NO! Another one is asking me whether it's true!

Nightwing: Can you state something to the superhero community before I go mad?

Nightwing: Batman? Batman?

Nightwing: Please deny it is false! I know one of my childhood dream was to have Superman and you as dads, but I do not want to hear of your sex life. Too many persons are asking details about your sexual life as a civilian, please do not also ruin my superhero's community connections. 

Nightwing: YOU ARE NOT DENYING IT?

Nightwing: PLEASE DENY IT! 

Nightwing: You haven't responded... Don't tell me it is true?

Nightwing: NOOOO!

10:30 a.m.

Nightwing: Sorry for my last messages. I see on the news you are busy dealing with Joker in Gotham. I can wait until the end of your fight to know my answers. Just let me know it is false!

11:00 a.m.

Robin : I can give you an hand. 

Batman: No. Stay in school.

Robin: Fine, but I will help with your planning revenge on Vicky Vale. Terrorizing journalists seems fun. 

12:02 p.m. 

Red Robin : Do not visit the Teen Titans building for the next while. Some of them are too invested in the article.

12:23 p.m.

Red Hood : It's sad Lex Luthor did not say anything about how weird your sexual habits are.

Red Hood: You know, I always thought you were into threesomes.

Red Hood: Superman, you and ...

12:24 p.m.

Red Hood: Wonder woman?

12:25 p.m.

Red Hood: Catwoman?

12:26 p.m.

Red Hood: Lois Lane?

12:27 p.m.

Red Hood: Lex Luthor?

Batman: Stop it.

Red Hood: Fine. 

12:35 p.m.

Red Robin: Respond to Nightwing. He has been leaving me 167... 168 messages since 7:15 a.m. I do not have time to deal with this.

13:34 p.m.

Agent A: Sir, please note Red Hood dropped by today.

Batman: Did you make sure the copies of the article are not dangerous for my civilian identity?

Agent A: He knows the rules, Sir. The articles are all in a restricted access place. Unfortunately, he also left post-its everywhere.

Batman: ...

Agent A: I am not cleaning those up, Sir.

Batman: Fine. 

 

14:00 p.m.

Superman: What did you do to Vicky Vale?

14:30 p.m.

Superman: Seriously, you must have done something terrible for her to be this angry.

15:00 p.m.

Superman: We can talk at our League meeting today.

Superman: If you want?

16:02 p.m.

Red Robin: Deal with Nightwing. From his texts, he seems to have almost all the symptoms of a nervous breakdown.

16:05 p.m.

Robin: Father! Nightwing is leaving all kind of incoherent messages on my phone. Can you do something before he goes on a killing spree?

16:24 p.m. 

Agent A: Sir, Nightwing and Red Hood are both waiting for you at home. Nightwing seems a bit stressed out. 

16:56 p.m.

Agent A: Sir, need I remind you supper is at 18:30 today?

Batman: Joker.

Agent A: No matter your previous engagements, we seldom have Red Robin, Red Hood, Nightwing, Robin and Orphan under the same roof. 

Batman: Joker.

Agent A: Sir, I have seen reports he had been arrested earlier today.

Batman: Escaped.

Agent A: That is unfortunate, Sir. Supper will not wait for you.

17:01 p.m.

Nightwing: It's false, right?

17:04 p.m.

Nightwing: I'll sleep in Gotham tonight. I cannot endure another last minute visit to speak about you and Superman.

Nightwing: Tell me there are villains we can beat up tonight.

Nightwing: Robin and Red Robin have escaped to their rooms when they saw me. I am becoming a monster... even Orphan is avoiding me.

Nightwing: Red Hood has been telling me he once found you in the batmobile with Green Arrow doing... That can't be true, right?

Nightwing: RIGHT?

Batman: None of it is true. 

Nightwing: None?

Batman: None. Now, leave me alone. Joker is still out.

 

17:05 p.m.

Robin: Father, come back immediately. Nightwing just broke down. 

Red Robin: Agent A, Robin and Red Hood are trying to catch Nightwing. We might need some help.

17:06 p.m.

Red Robin: Never mind, Orphan managed to trick him. We have injected him with something to calm him down. I'll give you a full report later.

17:15 p.m.

Superman: Are you coming to the meeting? We have already started it.

Batman: Just captured Joker for the second time today. Will deal with a family crisis before coming.

Superman: Is it that bad?

Batman: Worst.


	4. Short Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman and Superman have a short conversation after the disastrous Justice League meeting.

"Batman!"

"Superman."

"I've been trying to speak to you since you came here".

"J'onn already updated me on the meeting."

"Well, I was actually more curious about you did to anger Vicky Vale."

"..."

"No, seriously, what did you do?"

"..."

"I am not letting you escape the Watchtower before you explain it to me."

"..."

"I know you have Kriptonite on your belt. I will just ask Diana to help me. Come on, you know the article was as much against me than against you. Shouldn't I deserve to know why Vicky is upset enough to write an article about the two of us?"

"...puppy eyes? Really?"

"Nothing else seems to be working. As some tactician once explained to me, use whatever you can to obtain what you want."

"That is not the exact quote."

"Close enough. Stop trying to dodge my question. Vicky Vale?"

"Fine. I pushed her out of Firefly's way in a fight."

"She's mad because you saved her? I don't believe this."

"I may have also yelled at her for being in the way."

"You must have been incredibly rude to her in order for her to be mad at you after you saved her life. Do you think she will feel completely avenged after the article?"

"..."

"I'm waiting."

"How should I know? Journalists tend to be angry for no good reason."

"Hey, be nice! I'm in this situation because of you!"

"Isn't it more Lex Luthor's fault?"

"That too. Now, you are still not answering my question. Is that all Vicky will do to get her revenge?"

"..."

"Nooooo! Don't tell me she will still do something! What did you do to her?"

"I saved her."

"You know, you do get on people's nerves even when you are helping them. You should work on your manners if you don't want to get shot by people you save."

"Batman's reputation is more important than manners."

"That's always what you say... I had hoped this would be the end of Vicky Vale's grudge. From what you are not telling me, I guess there will be more to it."

"Journalists..."

"Stop saying that!"


	5. Vicky Vale's Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicky Vale publishes a special exclusive on the Batman and Superman's sex tape scandal.

FOLLOW-UP ON THE BATMAN-SUPERMAN SEX TAPE SCANDAL

IN ORDER TO ASCERTAIN HOW THE CLOSEST PEOPLE TO BOTH SUPERHEROES HAVE REACTED TO THE NEWS OF THEIR SEX TAPE, VICKY VALE, OUR COURAGEOUS REPORTER, HAS GONE THROUGH CONSIDERABLE LENGTHS TO ACQUIRED THEIR OPINIONS. SINCE BOTH SUPERHEROES SECRET IDENTITIES (IF THEY HAVE ONE) ARE HIDDEN, VICKY VALE INTERVIEWED SUPERHEROES AND VILLAINS COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH SAID SUPERHEROES. THE FOLLOWING INTERVIEWS ARE EXCLUSIVES TO THE GOTHAM GAZETTE WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE STATEMENT.

POISON IVY SUPPORTS BATMAN

Pamela Isley, more commonly known as Poison Ivy, has sought anonymously Vicky Vale to describe her support of Batman's coming out. She describes herself as an passionate environmentalist who realized in recent years she was a lesbian. "You know, the superhero and villain communities do not discuss sexual relationships other than heterosexual. The lack of diversity in our communities is astonishing in this day and age. It is time for us to be forward thinking and Batman leads by example. No one should be scared about whom they love", Pamela Isley wisely and calmly considered. "It seems particularly taboo for homosexual love between men. Everyone knows Wonder Woman is bisexual because she came from a island of women, yet nobody had verbalized Batman's obvious tendencies for violence as a manner to overcome societal values enforced on him. Congrats Batman! Your coming out has inspired mine! We can now inspire another generation of villains and superheroes to accept who they are. I want to be a model to everyone ashamed of their sexual orientation when they should live proudly with them", Pamela Isley has said during our interview.

After our interview, Pamela Isley has politely refused any help to drive her back to the prison. She has even thanked the reporter for her time and dedication to address a largely overlooked issue in the superhero and villain communities. 

PENGUIN DOES NOT MIND BATMAN'S SEXUAL ORIENTATION

The Penguin, more commonly known as the Mr. Cobblepot, is a renown businessman having had numerous encounters with Batman in the past. He has accepted to sit down and discuss Batman's sexual orientation with a reporter from the Gotham Gazette.

"Vicky, I don't care if Batman is gay or not. I just want him to leave legitimate businessmen such as me alone. This secret identity thing is difficult for me to navigate. Who do I sue for defamation and damages for all of his illegal break-ins in my properties? Truthfully, if Superman can keep Batman occupied elsewhere, I might finally have some peace from Batman's unjustified prosecutions", Mr. Cobblepot has said.

Mr. Cobblepot has let one of his man show me out after our interview.

TWO FACE SPECULATES ABOUT BATMAN'S PREFERENCES

Two Face, also known as Harvey Dent, is in an extraordinary position for this interview concerning Batman's outing. He has helped Batman as a D.A. to stop crime and he has also faced him as a villain. He has graciously accepted to conduct the interview from his prison cell. 

"What I don't understand is why people are surprised by his sexual orientation. They should be much more worried about his kinks. A man seemingly dressed in leather prowling around at night and beating up people must have very special tastes in his sexual life. Even when I was working alongside him, I had thought he must have a secret dungeon somewhere where he tortures people for pleasure. Of course, who would know if Batman is secretly a serial killer who hides his sinister activity by pretending to being an hero. Hell, he might be even more two faced than me! Everyone agrees he is seriously disturbed. Maybe more than anyone currently at this Asylum and that's including Joker", Harvey Dent has declared to our reporter.

Harvey Dent has declined to talk about any of his alleged activities with Batman, either before he became a villain or after.

HUGO STRANGE PRESENTS A PORTRAIT OF BATMAN'S MENTAL HEALTH

Hugo Strange has agreed to sit down in an interview in his prison cell to discuss how the latest revelation concerning Batman has change the portrait of him

"To be honest, I had many theories about Batman's sexual profile. A man so sexual repressed could have been frustrated in his sexual life or he could have a perverse and unacceptable sexual preference such as necrophilia or pedophilia. His being homosexual actually changes completely his profile into socially unaccepted sexual preferences, but not legally unaccepted sexual preferences. I had summarized he was an unbalanced individual with a penchant towards a God complex and martyr one. This revelation about his sexual life gives me idea about what part of his eros tendencies comes from. Superman is invulnerable, or the nearest to it. Batman likes to use violence and likes to be in control. His relationship with Superman would indicate a much more stable personality than otherwise conjugated. No matter the force used on Superman, Batman cannot hurt his sexual partner. Unfortunately, this relationship may also result in Batman hurting his criminals by "mistake" since he is too used to Superman. It would be helpful to know when and how this relationship came to be in order to determinate how his intimate relationship has impacted the way he treats his villains", Hugo Strange has declared.

Hugo Strange also wanted to thank Lex Luthor for the much appreciated information on the elusive Batman, since the more information he has on the superhero, the better he can make a profile for him.

JOKER PROPOSES TO SUBSTITUTE HIMSELF WITH SUPERMAN

Joker contacted Vicky Vale during his latest escape yesterday and she went to interview in prison to get his impressions on Batman's outing.

"Batman is mine! We have this game, you see, where I run and he has to catch me. Look at today, Batsy ran after me all the day! It was so fun. Superman should not intervene in our game or I'll make sure he is out! As for Batsy, I mean, come on! If you want your sex tape, I will be more than happy to help you with it! AND IT WOULD BE MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN BORING OLD SUPERMAN! I'm sure more people would like to see the big black bat begging on his knees... Actually, why don't we make people vote on their preferred sex tape candidate for Batman? All for chari-ty? Wouldn't it make it more interesting? I know how to tie someone and how to make explosions, that should make for fun foreplay!", Joker has said.

"Would you accept the people's vote if they vote for Superman?", Vicky Vale asked.

Joker laughed at the question and would not answer any other questions from our intrepid reporter.

AN ANONYMOUS PERSON FROM CADMUS HAS DECLARED THIS SITUATION SURPRISING

"According to our profiles, we had arrived at the conclusion Batman would probably date a villain, not another superhero. According to our calculations, Batman has much more in common with the Joker or Catwoman than Superman. Why Superman would subject himself to the Batman's notorious temper is also puzzling. Superman is famous for his kindness and politeness and, according to our psychological expertise, this would normally push Batman into ignoring him or being mean to him. We now have to reevaluate our profiles", our anonymous source has shared with us.

THE JUSTICE LEAGUE RELEASES A STATEMENT ON BATMAN AND SUPERMAN'S SEX TAPE

The Justice League released, today at 8:00 p.m., a statement concerning Batman and Superman's sex tape. J'onn J'onzz, the spokesperson, only declared the Justice League are aware of the rumors circulating on Batman and Superman, but do not wish to comment. Green Lantern and Flash were trying to contain themselves but ended up laughing behind him. Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Superman and Batman were all absent. The usual spokesperson for League announcements is Superman.

BATMAN IS STILL UNREACHABLE FOR COMMENTS

Vicky Vale, intrepid reporter, has tried to communicate with Batman in his usual way (meaning the Batlight), but has been stopped and removed from the premises by Commissioner Jim Gordon who declined commenting on the Batman situation. She, along with many of her fellow reporters, persisted in trying to reach Batman during his patrol of the city and failed yet again. Batman is still eluding reporters and journalists and is currently unreachable for comments.

SUPERMAN'S VILLAINS HAVE ALL REFUSED TO BE INTERVIEWED ON HIS OUTING

The Gotham Gazette has contacted most of Superman's villains residing at Belle-Rive in Metropolis, yet they all declined commenting on the Superman and Batman's sex tape scandal. Lex Luthor, known for his opposition speeches on Superman's continued presence in Metropolis has declared, "My lawyers does not want me to comment on the story until they are sure all the drugs are out of my system. My head still hurts...". 


	6. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catwoman and Batman

"Bruce", Selina whispers, "it might be one of your best ideas yet". 

The man laying on the bed under a mountain of sheets grunts and rolls away from Selina. 

"No, really, all your annoying ninja kids won't even think of looking for you here. They know you never bring any Batman's works at any of your exclusively Bruce Wayne hideouts, like this penthouse. So, none of them will figure out you are only sleeping quietly somewhere while you could be working at the Batcave. Ingenious."

The inert man grumbles under his breath. 

"I'm sorry, Bruce, I can't hear you".

The man struggles to the edge of the bed.

"So, Bruce, I can't understand why Vicky did not use the more sensationalist language in her last article. I mean, I did see a recording of the Justice League's statement and it was clear the Green Lantern and Flash were giggling, not just laughing. Vicky normally goes for sensationalism, I wonder if she did not take as much time as normal to write her piece. I mean, she had to chase all the villains around to ask them questions. Why didn't she reach me for comments? I have been largely known as a Batman's lover even long before we first kissed".

The man's respiration seems to settle. A soft smile appears on Selina's face before turning fierce. Dealing with him was always a challenge, trapping her between rare moments of tenderness and her competitive teasing streak. She opens the curtains in one swift motion and more sheets are pulled over the man's head as a reaction. 

"You know, both Dr. Strange and Harvey Dent thought you had some eccentricities in your sexual life. Maybe we should try some of Harvey's suggestions? A dungeon play? It would add some spice."

The big mass on the bed did not make any movements.

"I have heard of the battle for the Batlight and the failed ambush of the vigilantes yesterday. I do believe journalists are now Batman's greatest villain. You can't even deal with them as you would normally do. You can't even punch them and throw them to jail. What are you going to do until your sex-tape story becomes old news?"

The man had patience, that, she could grant him. But, according to her calculation based on his two terrible last nights and her continuous teasing, he should be almost at the point of losing it. Just a push more. 

"You know, after Vicky's last article, there are polls started on the Joker's suggestion. They even added some surprising options. Ra's Al Ghul and Bane? Really? You dated Ra's horrible daughter and, Bane, well he is quite something else. But do you know which place I have been voted to at this time?"

The man on the bed does not answer.

"Fourth. You would think I would actually be disappointed, but the competition is quite fierce. I am actually proud they did not forget me among the other big names". 

He sill did not stir. Fine, Selina could up the level some more. 

"Actually, do you know I am the highest voted woman as your sex tape partner? Even your wondrous Amazon is lower."

He twitches. Ok, almost there.

"Can you guess which three males have more votes than I?", Selina said, leaning more and more on the man.

No answer. Not that she was waiting for one. She knows him too well for that.

"Hint. The second and the third are superheroes. The first is definitely not." 

She puts one hand on the quiet man's elbow and she leans her body on him until she is about an inch away from him. She whispers in his ear, "One of them is Selina-approved-sexy. Another is disgusting and the last is truly a choice I had never imagined before, but now I find myself interested in trying if possible." The man shudders when she licks his ear in a very sensual manner. 

"So, do you want to know?", she nibbles on the neck she has uncovered from under the layers of sheets. 

"No", he grumbles, turning to finally face her one elbow under him, "Stop it". 

Selina smiles as a predator before her prey. The game is on. "You can't even guess who are the first three? I thought you were the Greatest Detective in the world", she enunciates in a mock deferential tone. 

He stares at her. He knows her game too well. How many times did he take her on and lost? 

"What a shame... You have lost your courage while running away from journalists. How the mighty have fallen..."

He closes his eyes. In the last two days and two nights there has been : the two absurd articles, Red Hood leaving post-its about Clark and him everywhere in the manor and hiding articles and comments from blogs speculating about Superman and Batman (and sometimes even Lex Luthor) everywhere in the Batcave, an anxious looking Nightwing, a pouting Robin, an overtired Red Robin (even by his standards), a disapproving Alfred, a favor he will come to regret owing Oracle, a more-annoying-than-usual-Hal-Jordan, a overly curious Superman, armies of relentless journalists tracking him down on patrol and a Joker escaping too many times in two days (how can Arkham let him escape three times in 48 hours? How more incompetent could they be? No, he is not asking them to try to set a new record). 

Batman was aware he was not the nicest person on Earth and he even went out of his way to scare and upset people. Nonetheless, this was too much to only be karma for his bad manners. He does not feel playful enough to endure another Selina game at this time and she is only too aware of it. 

He sighs, "What do you really want, Selina?" 

Gotcha, she thinks to herself. "Why do you think there is something I want? Can't I just be a friendly ear for you?"

He opens his eyes with an impressive glare. She always interpreted that one as saying: "Cut to the chase or I'll cut you down until you cannot move any parts of your body". 

She caress the arm he is leaning on and she says, "Tell me the truth and I will leave". 

He stills, "What. Are. You. Talking. About." 

She pouts, "No coffee until you tell me the truth". 

His glare turns into his famous "Go away or I will haunt you and all your descendants until the tenth generation" glare (Selina realizes the curse is normally for seven generations, but a live Batman can hold a grudge longer than anyone else so she bets it would still be the same if he were to become a ghost). 

"Oh Bruce, I am simply asking for the truth, not a get out of jail card" she whispers ominously low. 

His glare does not soften. In fact, it seems to be going into the "Let me alone NOW or I'll find a way to go back in time to make sure you never come into existence" territory. This does not bother Selina at all. She knows she only really gets in trouble if she gets the "That's it! Unless you had explained to me ten seconds ago this is a misunderstanding, I'll become a supervillain and I swear I will find a way to destroy all known and unknown dimensions so there will be no way you can do this again" glare.

"Do you remember what I said when we first decided to become involved more permanently?", Selina solemnly says. He nods. Of course he knows, he was the one pushing for a 'talk' about their relation status.

"Let me remind you what I said. I said I do not ask you to be honest or to stop lying, because neither of us knows how to do that. I do not ask you for monogamy since I don't think I could do it when we break up half the time. Besides, you needed the cover for your Bruce Wayne playboy's persona and you do not cater to all of my taste. I had asked you only one thing. Never hide it from me, that is all I had asked. I would do the same with you."

"Selina, I do remember", the mussed up man strains out.

"Good", Selina smiles blindingly. Batman knew he was in trouble since Selina only uses that smile when she was angry or really upset.

"You are hiding it", she declares nonchalantly.

His glare transforms to a slight frown, "Selina, I haven't even been sleeping with anyone to maintain my playboy cover since about two months ago".

Selina slides a finger on the edge of his jaw, "No, that is true. But you are in love with someone else".

Batman's face twitches with confusion, "No, I am not. You are the one I love."

Selina fixes his eyes with hers and leans forward almost kissing him on the lips, "The others might believe that. I know you better, much better than they do".

"No, you don't."

Selina' eyes grow emotionless as she continues, "That's true, I suppose. Alfred knows you better, but I understand you better than anyone else."

Batman does not move under her stare, feeling much like a bat observed by a very hungry cat.

"You love someone other than me or you would not have hidden yourself as Bruce Wayne in Gotham. You hate being Bruce Wayne, because he is weaknesses and excesses. You are hiding from your family not because you are annoyed with them, but because you need this time to hide your true feelings."

Bruce leans his forehead until it touches Selina. She does not respond to his rare proof of affection. He softens against her, "Selina, I swear I am not in love with anyone else. I only had too much to endure in the past days".

"Is it Diana again?", she asks in a strangely calm voice.

"No, there is no one else than you, Selina", Bruce says exasperated.

"I thought it might be her. The last time you loved her, you were always escaping her. I thought you would be upset if the world thought you were gay and I was your beard".

"Selina"

"Then, is it Superman?", Selina asks in her strangely calm voice.

"Selina, there is no one else than you", Bruce continues a bit annoyed. To his surprise, Selina smiles sensually and kisses him back into the bed. He frowns under her aggressive ministrations. She laughs, "Well, are you in a better mood for some pleasure now?". He motionlessly lets her caress him until he understands she started all of her accusations of him being in love with someone else to distract him from his gloom and force him to listen to what she was saying. She lies too well, he thought as he tries to tickle her as revenge. She evades his attacks and launches herself on him, pinning him to the mattress with a victorious smile, "By the way, third place is J'onn J'onzz. The other two are too easy to guess".

There were many good reasons Bruce and Selina could be allowed to lie to one another. Nobody manages to surprise Bruce as often as Selina and the man certainly needed something to help him disconnect from his many burdens. Selina smiles down at him straining under her touch. Things were always interesting with him around, weren't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want some fun, reread this chapter with the following questions in mind :
> 
> 1) According to you, is it true Selina Kyle is the one who understands Bruce Wayne best?
> 
> 2) Selina gives two reasons why Bruce hides in a Bruce Wayne penthouse in the chapter. Is any of them true? Both? Neither?
> 
> 3) Selina says neither Bruce nor herself know how to be honest. Is any of them being dishonest in this chapter? 
> 
> 4) In canon, Bruce has very low emotional intelligence. Does this information change the way you interpret the chapter?
> 
> You can write your interpretation of this chapter below. Enjoy!


	7. Declaration of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Superman and Lois Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, it is more a plot advancing chapter than a funny one. Hopefully, you will still enjoy.

"Are you sure you are up to report on Lex Luthor?"

Clark looked down at Lois, "I have to be. I can't be as bad as all the other times he publicly defamed Superman's reputation, can it?"

Lois stared at him. Clark fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, "Lois, he once accused Superman of trying to install his new regime of terror. How worst can it be?" This comment did not change Lois's aggressive posture. She only raised an eyebrow, "Smallville, this is Lex. Lex is always using his press conferences as psychological warfare against Superman. When I meet Superman after any of Lex's press conference, he is always upset. What makes you think Lex talking about one of Superman's colleague and friend won't worsen the situation?"

Clark had to think about that. Unfortunately for him, Lex Luthor had just entered the room and was being lead to the podium. Clark saw the bald businessman turn his head in his direction and smirk. The reporter had to swallow. Maybe Lois was right. He had a bad feeling about this.

Lex took his time installing himself at the podium and look over the room before starting his press conference with a loud and confident voice. 

"Greetings everyone. I have call this press conference to address the proposal I made two days ago while I had been, unfortunately, poisoned by some Gotham villains."

Lois whispered to Clark, "Who were the villains?"

Clark answered back, "Well, it seems Lex had tried to make an alliance with poison ivy and Harley Quinn. Apparently, Lex bruised some plants while they were discussing their alliances. The supervillains poisoned him to make him lose face by being careless and stupid". 

"This started as a ploy to make Lex lose face? Why were Batman and Superman drawn in the situation?"

Clark grinned, "Bad luck."

Lex continued his well practiced speech, "Some of Gotham's villains managed to bypass my security and enter my home by infraction. They sprayed me in poison to make me act crazily. They gave me access to giant robots and I am ashamed to say I played with them, not knowing I was destroying Metropolis." 

"He already had access to giants robots. Isn't his name written on them?", Lois asked.

"Lex favorite trick is to make the robots with the Luthor name, but to choose a incompetent manager to guard them. Besides, it is true he has contracts with the government to construct machines capable of defeating Superman.", Clark explained. 

"We have to find a way to arrest him", Lois whispered back, "He is too out of control". 

Lex recited, "Superman did stop the robots' attack and although I do not always see eye to eye with him, I am thankful for his help".

Clark paled considerably. Lois leaned over to him, "Ok, what is wrong with you?", she said amidst some applause.

"Whenever Lex praises Superman, something bad is bound to happen. I sometimes think he puts it there in his speech to attract my attention wherever I am", Clark muttered back to Lois. The small reporter looked at him before turning to the podium with a concerned face.

"It was certainly not my intention to destroy this beautiful city", Lex pursued.

"You madman, you have been doing that since you came to town", Lois whispered angrily under her breath.

"I have donated 20 millions of dollars to the Reconstruction Funds of Metropolis two days ago to help apologize for the destruction I have unfortunately caused", Lex pronounced clearly and humbly (for him).

"I have heard from some anonymous source Batman hacked into some of his secret funds and donated them for Lex. No wonder he became so generous", Clark whispered to Lois.

Lois rolled her eyes at the 'anonymous source' wording. She touched Clark's elbow and said, "Well, he managed to turn a loss of several millions into a stunt publicity to show remorse for his drugged action. He really is a politician".

"I realized my actions have caused great stress for the citizens of Metropolis and I would like to reassure everyone Metropolis is safe. Metropolis is much safer than Gotham and they need our help to contain their violent criminals and clowns. It is not their fault they do not have the means to stop them from spreading everywhere. We should help our brothers and sisters from Gotham."

"Ouch", Clark muttered out.

"Yep", Lois responded, "Even if he was the one inviting Gotham villains in Metropolis, he is making it seem as if Batman is an incompetent hero incapable of stopping Gotham's corruption of the 'saint' Metropolis city."

"I have contacted the Wayne Entreprise in Gotham to discuss a collaboration. I have offered financial help and expertise. Unfortunately, the board of WE seems to have decline the partnership without giving me any reasons."

At those words, a reporter from Gotham raised his hand and Lex let him ask his question, "My apologies, Mister Luthor, does that mean the board disliked your aggression on Metropolis?"

Lex sighed, "Well, even though the police have found me not criminally guilty of destroying our city, I do think some people see me more of a criminal than a victim". Lex paused for a moment, seemingly tired and continued, "Wayne Enterprise is a very conservative business, which is a rarity in such an highly technology innovation business model. Some of the subjects I have mentioned while drugged may have had the unfortunate side affect of disturbing their sensibilities."

"Wow. What an arrogant...", Lois spoke too loudly.

Clark interrupted her, "Is he suggesting...?".

"Not only is he suggesting Wayne Enterprise is an obsolesce, he is also hinting they have something against homosexuality", Lois lowered her voice a bit to avoid some of the glances other reporters were sending them.

Three other hands shot up. Lex pointed to one of them, "Mister Luthor, are you saying Bruce Wayne and his board members are homophobic?"

Lex smiled, "I have no idea whether the board members are homophobic, but I have observed they had some very conservative views on many subjects."

The reporter pushed, "You did not answer the question about Bruce Wayne".

Lex looked surprisingly relunctant, "Well, it is not really my place to say this, but it would be hypocrite on Bruce Wayne's part to be homophobic".

At those words, everything stopped. This was big news. The reporters and camera persons all started moving as one towards Lex Luthor while asking questions and clarifications.

Lois turned to Clark with a frown. His mouth was hanging out and he was livid. "Did you know?", she whispered anyway. He shook his head as in a daze.

Lex waited until things settled down a bit before clarifying his answer, "I do not more than this one incident Oliver Queen and me had the unfortunate timing of seeing Bruce Wayne kiss a man back when we were at Excelsior. That is all I know on the matter."

The reporters continued asking clarifications and quotes from Lex Luthor. Unfortunately for them, his last statement was the only thing he was willing to say on the matter. When the reporters noticed this, they tried to get information about the sex tapes scandal involving Superman and Batman, the other juicy scandal.

On that subject, Lex Luthor was willing to say no proof there was some sex tapes, but he subtly reminded everyone he was one of the smartest people on the world and Batman's and Superman's strange friendship could be more than that if you looked at their behavior. He pointedly reminded everyone Batman was known as the antisocial hero, yet he was often seen besides Superman. Furthermore, as friendly as Superman was, he was more often than not at Batman's side when the Justice League was assembled. Reporters wanted more and more demonstration of the strange Superman-Batman friendship and why Lex was so invested in buying their sex tapes. Lex Luthor smiled and waved to the cameras. It was time for him to work. His eyes glimmered with pure pleasure.

Lois pulled Clark out of the hall before Lex exited the place and they went quietly to the empty top of a building. Clark followed her without will of his own. Lois caressed his cheeks and said, "I told you he would use Batman to hurt you... Are you Okay?".

Clark looked at her, "He knows."

Lois whispered, "What does he know?"

"He knows I had a crush on Batman. He knows Batman is Bruce Wayne."

"Oh!", Lois said, "I did not think of that. Will he say it publicly?"

Clark fixed the ground with his eyes and frowned, "Probably not. He does not reveal I am Superman although he has known that for the longest time. He may reveal it only once so he might be waiting for his time".

They were both quiet for some time. Lois lowered Clark's head to her level and kissed him softly on the lips, "What do we do now?"

"Batman already has contingencies plans upon contingencies plans on how to deal with his revealed identity. Bruce Wayne will get out of the scandal more or less unscathed since he already has a bad reputation. He will be planning revenge on Lex", Clark enumerated patiently.

Lois's eyes were soft as she carded Clark's hair, "And you? Will you be fine?". He looked at her and drew an arm around her, pulling her closer toward him, "I don't understand. Why bring Bruce and Oliver into this?". Lois pondered that for some time, "He wanted to hurt you. On some levels, Batman does not care about Bruce's identity, but you do. Lex brought him and Oliver in to hurt you. From what you told me, Batman will be much angrier with Luthor's talk of Batman's incompetence than of Bruce Wayne's dalliance. It seems Lex Luthor has decided to hurt Batman and you at the same time". Clark sunk even more. Lois continued caressing him. I have to change subjects, she thought. "So Clark, did you investigate on how Batman angered Vicky that much?".

Clark chuckled at that sentence and relaxed in Lois's arms, " My cousin knows this guy who had a friend who was witness at the time of the incident". Lois rolled her eyes and mentally translated it to : my cousin Kara told me the story after Conner got it from Red Robin. "Apparently, Batman did save Vicky, but she was taking closeup photos of Batman. He broke her camera,yelled at her and pushed her away. Her camera was worth over $2,000 and she did not have any insurance. She did yelled some pretty colorful insults at him. That is why the article was published", Clark finished with a smile. He was a bit better, Lois thought. "And the hacking? Your cousin also told you?", she asked with a slight smile. "Yes, she did. When it is not a Batman Batman secret, my cousin gets to know everything", Clark responded. Lois continued to hold Clark as her thoughts raced. Of course Clark was upset his greatest enemy knew his identity, his best friend's identity and knew Clark had had a crush on him. Lex was mocking the purity of his crush by bringing up the sex tapes and Bruce's youthful kiss. A sudden thought occurred to Lois; Did Luthor talk about the sex tapes because he knew this would trouble Superman? Was he aware Vicky was present and was mad at Batman? Did he do it on purpose? No, she thought, there were too many unknown factors, but then again Lex was one of he smartest man on Earth...

Clark moved his head, "Lois?". She kissed him on the forehead, "Another Emergency?". Clark looked nonplussed, "Yes. But I don't want to go".

"Go. I'll write the article", she whispered lovingly. He smiled, changed into Superman and flied away. "Poor you", Lois said to the space before her.

******

Superman did go save people from some flooding in Texas, but he did not go back to the Daily Planet immediately afterward. No, he went as Clark Kent to visit Oliver Queen at his home. He was let in and he went to see a depressed Oliver laying on a sofa. Oliver did not even look up when he came in the room, but he did sigh.

"Another one? Seriously, do you know how many calls, texts, emails, faxes and visits I have received since Lex Luthor's press conference? It is official, he did it to annoy me. I really shouldn't have been nice to him all those years ago", Oliver said while drinking some beer from the bottle. Clark took a seat in front of Oliver without being invited.

"Was it true?", Clark asked cuttingly. Oliver looked up to observe Clark's demeanor. His shirt was not tucked correctly, his hair was wild and, worst, his eyes were a strange mixture of emotions, some of which Oliver had never seen in Clark's eyes before. Clark always had good manners, whether as Superman or as Clark, that was the reason why Batman had taken to calling him Boy Scout. Oliver sat straighter. "Is it true?", Clark insisted.

There was not enough alcohol in the world to have this conversation. "Yes", Oliver said, "But don't draw any conclusion from the kiss. It is nothing like you are imagining. I am still following therapy because of that stupid kiss I witnessed a long time ago". Oliver shivered and dropped his gaze to the bottle still in his hands. He was thinking whether he should take another swallow or not when Clark addressed him again, "Why therapy?".

"Clark, I know you don't understand what I am talking about, but yes therapy. It was not a loving kiss. Back then, Bruce was wild, dangerous and... well, he did not have the discipline he has today. Besides, if you ever get to know what happened then, you will surely understand why therapy is good idea."

Clark stared at him, not as an angry Superman, but as a very angry Clark, which was destabilization at best. "Clark, I know you want me to say more, but I cannot. Bruce will kill me. You should ask him". The reporter only lifted an eyebrow and glared at him. "Fine, bad idea. Do you want to know why Lex mentioned the kiss?", Oliver decided it was wiser to change the subject.

Clark did not answer. It was unnerving. "This is Lex's declaration of war with Bruce and maybe you. They made a truce some years ago and Lex has now openly declared war. I do not want to get sweep in their private war, yet I am sure I will be. Things never change. I should never have introduced them to one another. In hindsight, it might have been one of my worst ideas ever and I have had many bad ideas", Oliver explained. Clark relaxed a bit, "You introduced them to one another? Why?".

"At the time, it seemed brilliant. They were my acquaintances, almost my friends if they both had that word in their vocabularies. Both were a bit insane, antisocial and genius. I thought they would become quick friends. My good intention backfired completely. It was a disaster", Oliver said while taking another sip of beer.

"Why?", Clark sounded inquisitive not angry. Good, this, Oliver could manage. "Back then, Bruce was actually on the verge of being interned in a psychological facility because of how insane he was acting. Lex did seem the sane one out of them, but I learned sanity does not equate goodness. You know, even now, I sometimes believe Lex is saner than Bruce. Not that that changes which sides I will pick", Oliver continued. Clark sent a glare his way, because he had heard enough of Lex's speeches against him to resent his affirmation of Lex being the sane one out of his enemy and best friend. Oliver found it interesting Clark did not contest his diagnostic of sanity. Maybe, on some levels, he agreed with it. "So why did it end in a disaster?", Clark pursued.

Oliver looked him in the eyes, "They were both competitive, but Bruce tried to hide his intelligence from Lex, because he hated Lex's arrogance and wanted to insult Lex's intelligence. I think Lex realized Bruce was trying to fool him and he likes to rise to challenges. Bruce spent his time pretending being an angry brute and Lex spent his trying to make him drop pretenses. It was a nightmare, let me tell you. I kind of couldn't stand spending time with them. I started seeing a lot more my other friends and left them to self-destruct together. Over the years, they agreed not to see each other except for business. That was their truce. Lex mentioning the kiss, something not involved at all in business, goes against that rule".

Clark was clearly lost in thought. "So, here's my last advice to you, Clark, don't get sweep in with them in their little war if you can avoid it. They are terrible".

Clark nodded and walked out of the door without another word. This was bad, Oliver thought, Bruce and Lex were bad enough together, adding Clark to the mix is catastrophic. Lex had an unhealthy obsession about him and Bruce's friendship with Clark was strange enough as it was. It also seemed Clark had a lot of strong emotions about both Lex and Bruce. This was definitely terrible, maybe even worst than the insane Bruce-Lex war of so long ago. He needed another drink.

At least, Hal's conversation had been funny. He wanted pictures of Lex and Bruce to use for annoying Batman. Not that Oliver could give him any. They had mysteriously disappeared over the years. He would have guessed Batman, but he wasn't a 100% certain it wasn't Lex. With the two of them, you never could be certain. They liked too much to play and win.

I was truly young and innocent back then to want to be friends with those two fiends, Oliver thought. At least, I learned quite a lot about manipulation, he concluded to reassure himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this work. Hoped you enjoyed the ride. The continuation of this work will be named A (Small) Grudge. It should start next week.
> 
> Summary of A (Small) Grudge : In the present times, Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor are at war with one another (though the public is unaware of it) because of what happened in the Vicky Vale's Exclusive's storyline. A crisis in Gotham sends Green Lantern, J'onn J'onzz and Superman back in the past to stop the destruction of Earth. They unfortunately have to deal with a too joyous young adult Oliver Queen, a moody, enraged and out of control teenager Bruce Wayne and an overly curious young adult Lex Luthor. Green Lantern is happy he might get some blackmail material on Batman. Superman has an harder time dealing with both his best friend and his worst enemy than in the present (which is, in itself, quite an achievement). His only good news is neither of them have Kryptonite yet. J'onn J'onzz wishes everyone, especially himself, will forget about the trip to the past. The superheroes also have to deal with a depressive villain. This should be easy...


End file.
